Friends

I don't know if it happens at a certain age, or if it's just a coincidence that lots of people around me, including myself a bit, have been making their "friends list" a bit shorter recently.

Some have been doing it because they've gotten disappointed and/or angry with friends. Others have been doing it because they feel that there is really nothing in common with certain friends anymore. And others again have done it because they've realized that you can't make people care about you and cherish your friendship if they don't want to. Or often it's a mix of all three reasons above.

I enjoy staying in touch with friends - most of the time anyway. I like keeping friendships alive even when I don't have lots of things in common with some people anymore, or if I no longer live in the same city, country, or what ever. I think you can, and should, have different kind of friends.

Of course, the friends that know you well are the ones that you cherish most, that becomes most important to you. But friends that's known you for a long time can also be "a great asset" and really fun to hang out with even if you no longer have the same interests, the same views and so on.

But I've also, in the last year or two I think, realized when to let go. It doesn't matter how much you care about someone or how close you used to be if the other person does not seem to care or want to be that close anymore.

And it doesn't matter how fun you have when you talk and/or meet, if you are the only one making the effort to keep in touch.

And it doesn't matter how long you've known someone if there is really no common ground at all anymore.

So, sometimes you let go. You accept that you everybody doesn't want you as a close friend and that you don't want everybody as a close friend.

Most of the time it doesn't mean that you will not have a great time if you meet or run in to each other once in a while. It doesn't mean that you don't care about that person at all anymore. But it does mean that you've become closer to being acquaintances than being close friends. You're not angry with each other, but you've given up on being close. It's just life. It's not a big deal even if it sometimes feels like it.

It's probably a good thing rather than a bad thing. "Cutting off" people that never get in touch or/and that you care a lot about, but who doesn't seem to care back, saves you from being sad and disappointed. "Cutting off" people that you really no longer have anything in common with saves you from the awkward and boring meetings you might have to have once in a while otherwise. And of course "cutting off" people that totally freak you out saves you from going mad.

Friends are very important! So putting more effort in to cherish our real friends and not be too stuck on the rest can't be such a bad idea.