"It's a free world"

Would like to recommend a film. Watched it the other day. It's a Ken Loach movie called "It's a free world".
A great movie. And the lead actress does a great job, this being her first "real" acting job, I think.

The film is about how far you are prepared to move away from your values when your child is depending on you. How being greedy can make you lose it all. And how wrong you are when you believe that you and your loved ones are more important as human beings than other people.

Seriously, what's wrong with some people?

In the UK the government is planning on starting giving vaccine against the HPV virus, in school, to all girls 12 and 13 years of age.

The HPV virus, that is transmitted through sexual intercourse, causes 70% of all cases of cervical cancer. There are 2800 cases of cervical cancer every year in the UK.

You think that everybody would be happy about the vaccine, and the fact that the government is planning on giving it to all girls, before they supposedly have started any sexual activity, and therefore they will not get the HPV virus.

Wrong! Everybody's not happy. Some catholic organization is now afraid that this action will make young girls more promiscuous, because of their awareness of being immune to the HPV virus.

Hello!! What's wrong with some people?? I mean, most kids have never heard about the HPV virus, so a vaccine against it will surely not change their sexual activities. And what happened to HIV and all the other sexually transmitted diseases? I seriously doubt that kids are going to think: "Great, now we're immune to the HPV virus. Fuck the other risks of unprotected sex, let's sleep around like never before!"

Discrimination by the Swedish state

The other day, when I was sitting on the tube, I noticed an ad. It said "Save marriage. Mummy, Daddy, Child". Behind the ad is some kind of christian organization. Why they feel that they should bother me and everybody else, with their discriminating message, I don't know.

But the sad thing is, that they are not the only ones doing the discrimination. In Sweden the state is doing a very good job at it too.

1995, in Sweden, people of the same sex got the right to register their partnership, as it's called. This was supposed to be like marriage, but doesn't have the exact rights and regulations as a marriage, is not called a marriage, and has a similar but not entirely similar ceremony.

I guess Sweden felt "modern" in 1995, by doing this. But today, 12 years later, when marriage is recognized no matter if it's between a man and a woman, two men, or two women, in many other countries, Sweden still have this separation between the two. I really do not understand.

This morning I watched a debate about the same ad, as it's of course been upsetting for a lot of people. The person arguing against the campaign stated that in the tube, in Sweden, the rules say that an ad should not be of risk of hurting or offending people.

Further she said that it's horrible to all the kids, that travel by tube to school, and who do not fulfill the ideal of the campaign. That is children that might have just one mummy but no daddy, two mummies, or to daddies, just to give three examples. The campaign basically says that their way of living is not as good as the way that is promoted in the campaign.

The guy responsible for the ad could not see this. All he did was claim that we all have to live with offensive and hurtful ads surrounding us in society. And of course he constantly kept mentioning freedom of speech, even though his opponent explained that he can say what ever he wants, but not on the tube.

Anyway, I am upset about the ad being on the tube. Honestly I am upset about it being anywhere. I do not understand how people can feel that discrimination is okay. I do not understand the Swedish state. And I do not understand the organization mentioned above.

If Jesus did exist, and if the bible is sort of correct, he was a kind man that accepted people the way they are and did not discriminate or agree with discrimination. That's what I believe anyway.

Better safe than sorry?

A few days ago my husband and I watched a documentary about abortion and abortion laws in the UK. The angle was that it's now being debated in the UK wether or not to change the time limit that is set for when you can and can't do an abortion. The reason for this debate is different opinions about when the baby/fetus can feel pain.

Today, in the UK, you can do an abortion up until week 24 in your pregnancy. In Sweden abortion is free until week 18. After that you need permission from the National Board of Health and Welfare (Socialstyrelsen). That board only give permission for an abortion later than week 18 if it's determined that the baby will not survive, will be a very handicapped child, if the mother is very ill or if there are difficult social circumstances. And the board is never allowed to give permission for an abortion if there is a chance that the baby could actually survive if born at that moment. This is considered being in and around week 22.

As I mentioned above the documentary was about when the baby/fetus can feel pain. Some people claim that the baby can't feel pain until in week 26, which is why abortion in a pregnancy that is as far gone as week 24 is considered okay.

Others claim that there is a big chance that the baby/fetus can feel pain on and off as early as in week 17. And because of that they consider abortion after this stage inhumane, as it's painful for the baby/fetus.

The documentary touched me. I guess it would be strange if it hadn't, especially as I'm carrying a baby that is now 20 weeks and a few days old. The documentary showed a healthy and happy baby, born prematurely in week 22. Just a few minutes later an aborted 24 weeks old fetus was shown.

It really does make you wonder "when is there life?" And being pregnant you start thinking about the fact that you consider your own fetus/baby being a life, an individual, while technically it's still legal to abort her.

Although, as I said, the documentary was not about that, and I'm glad it wasn't. We've heard way to many debated about that and the question is a very emotional and difficult one.

But what is easier to discuss, I think, is this issue about pain. If there is a risk that the fetus actually do feel pain in week 17, even if it's just a tiny risk, why not apply the well known phrase "better safe than sorry"? Why not lower the limit to week 16? I know that sometimes there is bureaucracy that could make the pregnancy being far gone before there is a possibility for abortion. But shouldn't then the slow bureaucracy be taken care of instead?

I am pro abortion. I think that women should have the right to decide over their own body. That doesn't mean though, that I think abortion is a good thing. I believe/guess that it's often a horrible experience for both the mother and father involved.

Therefore I feel that information and availability when it comes to contraception never is good enough, always should be a priority.

When it comes to the limit for abortion I leave that to the experts, and hope that they will come to a conclusion that involves lowering the limit IF proof shows that there could be a risk of pain, for the fetus, when being aborted.

I'm hooked on "Blocket"

To be honest I have never really been in to second hand clothing.
First of all I find it a bit difficult to find something I want in most second hand shops.
Either it does not look very good. Or it looks good, but it's not my size.
And second, I find it a bit strange searching around amongst all those clothes that used to belong to other people.

I love getting old clothes from friends though. Not that it happens very often, but still.
As an example, about a year ago or so, I got this gorgeous red coat from a friend. I love it!
So I don't have a problem wearing other peoples old clothing, I guess I just don't have the patience for second hand stores.

Being pregnant though, you do start to think about lots of things, and this clothing stuff is one of those things for me.
It feels like such a waste, in both an economically and environmentally way, to by new clothes at the moment.
I mean spending lots of money on things that I will only be able to wear for a few months feels stupid. Not to mention how stupid it is from an environmental perspective.

So I went on to "Blocket", the most known website in Sweden for all kinds of second hand stuff. And I searched for maternity clothing. I met the same problem as I do in second hand stores, finding something that both seemed nice looking and that seemed to be my size. But finally I did fid two pairs of dungarees. I emailed the people who had put up the ads. And this evening one of them called and gave me instructions to her home.

I went there, paid only 75 SEK and got myself a nice pair of trousers. I am so happy! It really made me feel good. I felt like I did both the environment and my wallet a favor. And most of all I did my sad looking wardrobe a favor, as I barely have anything that fits these days.

The conclusion is that I am now hooked on Blocket. I have now been searching for baby-clothing, push chairs and toys. It's amazing how cheaply you can buy those sort of things. And honestly, why spend huge amounts of money on stuff when the kid is going to grow out of it so quick I won't even be able to blink.

Now I'm looking forward to crisscrossing Stockholm, visiting more strangers, and paying them for their used stuff.

This bloody government!!!

Last year we had an election. And a new government came in to power. The right wing one, in Swedish terms.

I was not a part of making that happen. I voted left wing as always. Partly because it goes hand in hand with my ideologies. But also because I did not believe a word of the crap that the right wing side was promising. They basically made the left wing arguments their own and left the left wing parties speechless. Bad planning by the left wing side and a lot of people fell for it.

A year later this new right wing government is tapping each others backs because of tax reductions. The sentence they constantly use is: "People now have a thousand sek extra in their wallets every month". That might be true. I don't know, I haven't really noticed. But true or not, tax reductions make me furious when the money to finance this is taken from people that are already vulnerable.

I work at a so called group home for people with Down Syndrome. And while the bloody government brag about the tax reductions, we get the information that we have to do a lot of cut downs this coming year. This even though they, in another document, agree on us needing the amount of money we have today (without cut downs) for those five people, living in the group home, to be able to live the life they have the right to according to LSS (a law that states the rights for people with handicaps).

Obviously this new government does not feel that that law is one that we should care much about. After all, it's just a law. And after all, it's just peoples life we are talking about here.

Do not girls also play football?

When my husband told one of his friends that we were having a daughter, the friend said "I'm sorry".
My husband, not just a bit offended, asked what the friend meant.

The friend answered:
"Well, you will not be able to connect a hundred percent with a daughter. You know, girls are just different than boys".

My husband and I still wonder how the guy can believe than your own influence on your kids do not matter. How he can be so blind that he doesn't see that most of todays differences between men and women have a lot to do with so many other things that their biological sex.

A colleague told me that his friend had said, when the friend was expecting, that if the baby was a boy he would take up football coaching.

Here my only question is: Do not girls and women also play football?

"It's a girl!"

People who know me well also know that the subject gender is one of my favourite ones.

Gender is also a subject that becomes highly obvious and important when you're about to have a baby.
One of the issues my husband and I had to discuss was whether or not to find out the sex of the baby, when we did the ultrasound.

I first did not want to know. Mainly because I do not think and do not want the sex to matter.

My husband on the other hand really wanted to know. He said that it would help him connect with the baby at this early stage. Not because it would matter whether or not it was a boy or a girl, but just because it would be easier for him to picture the baby and imagine the baby if he got to know the sex. That made me even more sceptical as I felt that made the sex more important than it is.

Finally I did give in though, and agreed to find out the sex. It's a girl!

And my husband was right in one thing. It did make it easier for him to connect. Because since the day we found out, he has been planning, dreaming and imagining our daughters future. She's going to be both a Formula 1 champion - the first female and black one. On top of that she's becoming the president of Ghana or maybe the Primeminister in the UK.

A collegue of mine later gave me a good argument for finding out the sex when doing the ultrasound. She meant that by not finding out people make the sex a bigger issue than it is. They say they want it to be a surprise. What kind of surprise is that when the sex really doesn't matter? The surprise is the baby, the individual, not the sex! Just as studying the heart, the legs, the lungs, the stomach, we might as well also observe the penis or vagina. Because that's mainly all it is; a body part, an organ.

Another friend gave me a good reason to not find out the sex. She said that today we try to have too much control, we monitor everything, we want to know everything, and a pregnancy is something natural that sort of takes care of it self, so why not just let go? Why not just try to accept that we do not need to know it all. And that, she said, was her reason for not finding out.

Both arguments are good arguments. Both women are highly intelligent women that I respect a lot. Therefore my conclusion is that people can do whatever they want as long as they themself feel that it's the right thing to do. And as long as they do it for themselves and not because "that's the way it supposed to be".

I did not feel a hundred percent when finding out the sex, because I only did it because it was important to my husband. Now I am happy that I did it, because my collegue helped me find a good argument that worked for me too.

Finally, I still do not understand when people say that the only reason to not find out the sex, is because of the surprise, because they want to here the words "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". I find that so unimportant. But as I said before, we all make our own choices for (hopefully) our own reasons.

How can breastfeeding be considered obscene?

Just read, on the site alltombarn.se, via a link on DN:s website, that Facebook is closing accounts that includes photos of women breastfeeding.
The reason is that pictures like that are obscene, according to Facebook.
Honestly, if someone wants to put up photos of their baby and breasts let them do it!
I'm not sure that I would like to put up a photo like that of myself on Facebook, but it sure isn't obscene to do it.
How could it be?

Paris

Five things I love about Paris:

The gorgeous and totally amazing architecture
Food - the variety and the huge amount of oriental food in particular
Patisseries
Dogs - especially the fact that you can take your dog to a restaurant
Shopping - could spend a million in all the great shops and boutiques

Five things I hate about Paris:

Traffic - what happened to stopping at zebra crossings and not driving when the traffic light is red?!
Pollution
The amount of smokers and smoke everywhere
The tube - what is it about all the walking in the tube, up the stairs, down the stairs, through long tunnels?!
Shopping - don't have a million to spend