When my husband told one of his friends that we were having a daughter, the friend said "I'm sorry".
My husband, not just a bit offended, asked what the friend meant.
The friend answered:
"Well, you will not be able to connect a hundred percent with a daughter. You know, girls are just different than boys".
My husband and I still wonder how the guy can believe than your own influence on your kids do not matter. How he can be so blind that he doesn't see that most of todays differences between men and women have a lot to do with so many other things that their biological sex.
A colleague told me that his friend had said, when the friend was expecting, that if the baby was a boy he would take up football coaching.
Here my only question is: Do not girls and women also play football?
Monday, October 15, 2007
"It's a girl!"
People who know me well also know that the subject gender is one of my favourite ones.
Gender is also a subject that becomes highly obvious and important when you're about to have a baby.
One of the issues my husband and I had to discuss was whether or not to find out the sex of the baby, when we did the ultrasound.
I first did not want to know. Mainly because I do not think and do not want the sex to matter.
My husband on the other hand really wanted to know. He said that it would help him connect with the baby at this early stage. Not because it would matter whether or not it was a boy or a girl, but just because it would be easier for him to picture the baby and imagine the baby if he got to know the sex. That made me even more sceptical as I felt that made the sex more important than it is.
Finally I did give in though, and agreed to find out the sex. It's a girl!
And my husband was right in one thing. It did make it easier for him to connect. Because since the day we found out, he has been planning, dreaming and imagining our daughters future. She's going to be both a Formula 1 champion - the first female and black one. On top of that she's becoming the president of Ghana or maybe the Primeminister in the UK.
A collegue of mine later gave me a good argument for finding out the sex when doing the ultrasound. She meant that by not finding out people make the sex a bigger issue than it is. They say they want it to be a surprise. What kind of surprise is that when the sex really doesn't matter? The surprise is the baby, the individual, not the sex! Just as studying the heart, the legs, the lungs, the stomach, we might as well also observe the penis or vagina. Because that's mainly all it is; a body part, an organ.
Another friend gave me a good reason to not find out the sex. She said that today we try to have too much control, we monitor everything, we want to know everything, and a pregnancy is something natural that sort of takes care of it self, so why not just let go? Why not just try to accept that we do not need to know it all. And that, she said, was her reason for not finding out.
Both arguments are good arguments. Both women are highly intelligent women that I respect a lot. Therefore my conclusion is that people can do whatever they want as long as they themself feel that it's the right thing to do. And as long as they do it for themselves and not because "that's the way it supposed to be".
I did not feel a hundred percent when finding out the sex, because I only did it because it was important to my husband. Now I am happy that I did it, because my collegue helped me find a good argument that worked for me too.
Finally, I still do not understand when people say that the only reason to not find out the sex, is because of the surprise, because they want to here the words "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". I find that so unimportant. But as I said before, we all make our own choices for (hopefully) our own reasons.
Gender is also a subject that becomes highly obvious and important when you're about to have a baby.
One of the issues my husband and I had to discuss was whether or not to find out the sex of the baby, when we did the ultrasound.
I first did not want to know. Mainly because I do not think and do not want the sex to matter.
My husband on the other hand really wanted to know. He said that it would help him connect with the baby at this early stage. Not because it would matter whether or not it was a boy or a girl, but just because it would be easier for him to picture the baby and imagine the baby if he got to know the sex. That made me even more sceptical as I felt that made the sex more important than it is.
Finally I did give in though, and agreed to find out the sex. It's a girl!
And my husband was right in one thing. It did make it easier for him to connect. Because since the day we found out, he has been planning, dreaming and imagining our daughters future. She's going to be both a Formula 1 champion - the first female and black one. On top of that she's becoming the president of Ghana or maybe the Primeminister in the UK.
A collegue of mine later gave me a good argument for finding out the sex when doing the ultrasound. She meant that by not finding out people make the sex a bigger issue than it is. They say they want it to be a surprise. What kind of surprise is that when the sex really doesn't matter? The surprise is the baby, the individual, not the sex! Just as studying the heart, the legs, the lungs, the stomach, we might as well also observe the penis or vagina. Because that's mainly all it is; a body part, an organ.
Another friend gave me a good reason to not find out the sex. She said that today we try to have too much control, we monitor everything, we want to know everything, and a pregnancy is something natural that sort of takes care of it self, so why not just let go? Why not just try to accept that we do not need to know it all. And that, she said, was her reason for not finding out.
Both arguments are good arguments. Both women are highly intelligent women that I respect a lot. Therefore my conclusion is that people can do whatever they want as long as they themself feel that it's the right thing to do. And as long as they do it for themselves and not because "that's the way it supposed to be".
I did not feel a hundred percent when finding out the sex, because I only did it because it was important to my husband. Now I am happy that I did it, because my collegue helped me find a good argument that worked for me too.
Finally, I still do not understand when people say that the only reason to not find out the sex, is because of the surprise, because they want to here the words "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". I find that so unimportant. But as I said before, we all make our own choices for (hopefully) our own reasons.
Monday, October 8, 2007
How can breastfeeding be considered obscene?
Just read, on the site alltombarn.se, via a link on DN:s website, that Facebook is closing accounts that includes photos of women breastfeeding.
The reason is that pictures like that are obscene, according to Facebook.
Honestly, if someone wants to put up photos of their baby and breasts let them do it!
I'm not sure that I would like to put up a photo like that of myself on Facebook, but it sure isn't obscene to do it.
How could it be?
The reason is that pictures like that are obscene, according to Facebook.
Honestly, if someone wants to put up photos of their baby and breasts let them do it!
I'm not sure that I would like to put up a photo like that of myself on Facebook, but it sure isn't obscene to do it.
How could it be?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Paris
Five things I love about Paris:
The gorgeous and totally amazing architecture
Food - the variety and the huge amount of oriental food in particular
Patisseries
Dogs - especially the fact that you can take your dog to a restaurant
Shopping - could spend a million in all the great shops and boutiques
Five things I hate about Paris:
Traffic - what happened to stopping at zebra crossings and not driving when the traffic light is red?!
Pollution
The amount of smokers and smoke everywhere
The tube - what is it about all the walking in the tube, up the stairs, down the stairs, through long tunnels?!
Shopping - don't have a million to spend
The gorgeous and totally amazing architecture
Food - the variety and the huge amount of oriental food in particular
Patisseries
Dogs - especially the fact that you can take your dog to a restaurant
Shopping - could spend a million in all the great shops and boutiques
Five things I hate about Paris:
Traffic - what happened to stopping at zebra crossings and not driving when the traffic light is red?!
Pollution
The amount of smokers and smoke everywhere
The tube - what is it about all the walking in the tube, up the stairs, down the stairs, through long tunnels?!
Shopping - don't have a million to spend
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Being pregnant
I've never been pregnant before.
Even though I've thought about it many times, I really didn't have a clue what it was going to be like.
Now I'm starting to slowly get a clue.
First three months it was all about feeling sick. All I did was eat, nibble and eat again, just to prevent the feeling of sickness. Coffee made my stomach turn. The deodorant gave me a head ache. I used to love indian food - and now I couldn't stand the smell of it.
Beginning of forth month was nice. I was so happy that I no longer felt sick. This was up until my ass started hurting from Diastasis Symphysis Pubis. And it's not only the ass that starts behaving strangely, so does the knees, the most of the legs as a matter of fact. It's all down to some hormones that makes the skeleton softer. It's supposed to be like that, but it's still very annoying, and it really hurts when doing certain exercises.
Now, when I head in to the fifth month, it's all about eating again. This time it's not to prevent sickness, it's basically from constant hunger. According to certain websites this is when the baby starts putting fat on, and that is the reason for the sudden hunger. I'm telling you, eating is a full time job at this time. And I guess it will get worse.
This is exactly where I am now. And about five months away from delivery date. I have no clue what the five coming months are going to be like, and I definitely don't have a clue about how it's going to be to be a mother. Or what I'm going to be like as a mother.
But I do know this: Even though I no longer recognize my own body, I feel fat, I can't always control my temper, my feelings or my physical body anymore. And even though being a mother will mean putting someone else first, all the time, I am so happy about this little thing that is growing inside of me.
We did a scan in week 15. My sister said he/she looked like a cheese doodle. One friend thought it rather looked like a rabbit. Another one said he/she looked like an alien. And my husband says that he/she looks like a monkey. What ever he/she looks like right now, I think it's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.
It truly is a miracle!
Even though I've thought about it many times, I really didn't have a clue what it was going to be like.
Now I'm starting to slowly get a clue.
First three months it was all about feeling sick. All I did was eat, nibble and eat again, just to prevent the feeling of sickness. Coffee made my stomach turn. The deodorant gave me a head ache. I used to love indian food - and now I couldn't stand the smell of it.
Beginning of forth month was nice. I was so happy that I no longer felt sick. This was up until my ass started hurting from Diastasis Symphysis Pubis. And it's not only the ass that starts behaving strangely, so does the knees, the most of the legs as a matter of fact. It's all down to some hormones that makes the skeleton softer. It's supposed to be like that, but it's still very annoying, and it really hurts when doing certain exercises.
Now, when I head in to the fifth month, it's all about eating again. This time it's not to prevent sickness, it's basically from constant hunger. According to certain websites this is when the baby starts putting fat on, and that is the reason for the sudden hunger. I'm telling you, eating is a full time job at this time. And I guess it will get worse.
This is exactly where I am now. And about five months away from delivery date. I have no clue what the five coming months are going to be like, and I definitely don't have a clue about how it's going to be to be a mother. Or what I'm going to be like as a mother.
But I do know this: Even though I no longer recognize my own body, I feel fat, I can't always control my temper, my feelings or my physical body anymore. And even though being a mother will mean putting someone else first, all the time, I am so happy about this little thing that is growing inside of me.
We did a scan in week 15. My sister said he/she looked like a cheese doodle. One friend thought it rather looked like a rabbit. Another one said he/she looked like an alien. And my husband says that he/she looks like a monkey. What ever he/she looks like right now, I think it's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.
It truly is a miracle!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Did I create a monster or am I the monster?
A colleague of mine told me, a few weeks ago, about emu oil. She said that lotion containing emu oil is great for people with really dry skin. I got excited, as my husband suffers from dry skin. I ordered the lotion online and when it arrived I gave it to my husband and told him all about its supposed good effects.
He gladly took it, but looked a bit surprised, and said: "Emu oil, doesn't that come from the emu?".
"Of course not!", I said, very sure that there was no chance someone would put oil from an animal in a lotion, and that my colleague would never have recommended something like that to me, as I am a vegetarian. I know, I was a bit naive on both accounts.
It did not take long though, before I started doubting what I had just said, and I searched the net for answers. Of course I found that the oil does come from the emu. The animal is not killed solely for the oil, but that is not much of a comfort for a vegetarian.
The problem is that my husband loves the lotion and has told me straight out that he will keep on using the lotion.
So I am stuck between the happiness of having found a great lotion for my husband, and the sadness of that great lotion containing animal fat. Makes me feel like a hypocrite. But on the other hand, it is not the first time. Every time I wear my leather shoes or my leather hand bag I feel the same.
Actually I very often feel like one, a hypocrite that is. I take a stand by doing or not doing certain things. And just a few minutes later I make an exception on something similar.
Does that make me weak? Or am I just doing my best, and should accept that no one is perfect? Or am I too selfish to sacrifice things that I like and that's why I only sacrifice things that really does not matter to me anyway? Maybe I only do so called good when it suits me?
He gladly took it, but looked a bit surprised, and said: "Emu oil, doesn't that come from the emu?".
"Of course not!", I said, very sure that there was no chance someone would put oil from an animal in a lotion, and that my colleague would never have recommended something like that to me, as I am a vegetarian. I know, I was a bit naive on both accounts.
It did not take long though, before I started doubting what I had just said, and I searched the net for answers. Of course I found that the oil does come from the emu. The animal is not killed solely for the oil, but that is not much of a comfort for a vegetarian.
The problem is that my husband loves the lotion and has told me straight out that he will keep on using the lotion.
So I am stuck between the happiness of having found a great lotion for my husband, and the sadness of that great lotion containing animal fat. Makes me feel like a hypocrite. But on the other hand, it is not the first time. Every time I wear my leather shoes or my leather hand bag I feel the same.
Actually I very often feel like one, a hypocrite that is. I take a stand by doing or not doing certain things. And just a few minutes later I make an exception on something similar.
Does that make me weak? Or am I just doing my best, and should accept that no one is perfect? Or am I too selfish to sacrifice things that I like and that's why I only sacrifice things that really does not matter to me anyway? Maybe I only do so called good when it suits me?
The Police
The otheer day I went to Globen to see THE POLICE in concert. As we had booked tickets pretty late, and on top of that we were four people that wanted to sit together, we naturally ended up in the so called nose bleed section.
First I was a bit dissapointed, thought that the experience would be totally ruined by having those crappy seats.
Also, I've always thought of Sting as a great artist, but never knew many songs by The Police, so I was a bit afraid that I would not be able to get the right feeling.
But both things mentioned above never became a problem. The concert was great. It did not matter at all that I only knew a few songs. And I totally forgot about the location of our seats. That must mean that the concert was amazing, even if certain critics said otherwise (as always).
The only thing that bothered me was something I read in the newspaper the other day: How can someone like Sting, that seems so great have fired his chef at home for being pregnant? How can he be so aware of environment and human rights and not have any sence of the mistake in discriminating a woman because of her pregnancy? I mean, it's not like he could not afford paying for her one year of maternity leave, or whatever she would have asked for.
Gladly she (the chef) won in court. Sadly Sting lost a few points in my book. But deep inside I'm still hoping that he really is that lovely guy that he seems to be and that it all was just a big, big misunderstanding.
First I was a bit dissapointed, thought that the experience would be totally ruined by having those crappy seats.
Also, I've always thought of Sting as a great artist, but never knew many songs by The Police, so I was a bit afraid that I would not be able to get the right feeling.
But both things mentioned above never became a problem. The concert was great. It did not matter at all that I only knew a few songs. And I totally forgot about the location of our seats. That must mean that the concert was amazing, even if certain critics said otherwise (as always).
The only thing that bothered me was something I read in the newspaper the other day: How can someone like Sting, that seems so great have fired his chef at home for being pregnant? How can he be so aware of environment and human rights and not have any sence of the mistake in discriminating a woman because of her pregnancy? I mean, it's not like he could not afford paying for her one year of maternity leave, or whatever she would have asked for.
Gladly she (the chef) won in court. Sadly Sting lost a few points in my book. But deep inside I'm still hoping that he really is that lovely guy that he seems to be and that it all was just a big, big misunderstanding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
