The different roles of the mother and the father

Thinking a lot about the role that society has created for the mother. And the role created for the father.

I love spending time with my daughter. From a selfish point of view I'm almost glad that my husband does not take as much responsibility as I do.

From an intellectual point of view I feel different though. When I think about how much greater society would be (in so many different ways) if we had reached the point were there was equality when it comes to parenthood, I feel different.

The first week or two I was very amazed by biology and how this whole thing of birth and babies work. But I am not a biologist. And now, a few weeks later, I'm starting to see the structures, the social instead of the biological, also in my own situation as a parent.

I decided to talk to my husband about it. This especially after I had read different studies about how feeding is just one of so many different needs that the baby has, just one of so may different things that the baby needs from it's parents.

My husband could be the one doing housework. He could change diapers. He could be carrying Noam a lot more. He could be lifting her up to help her burp if she seems uncomfortable. He could be taking her for a walk in the pram. He could be singing to her. He could be talking to her. And he does all those things. But I do them a lot more.

When I told him this, he still got stuck on the feeding part. And then he starting rabbling on about the fact that it's not really in his nature to sit and talk to a baby, that it's more his thing to play with her.

Funny. Like if it would be my thing. The difference is that I make it my thing, because I know that my daughter needs it.

It all has to do with the fact that a woman is supposed to be the caring and the soft one. A man on the other hand is supposed to be the funny one, the cool one.

And it all has to do with that motherhood is supposed to be this thing that you go in to and totally sacrifice yourself, and no longer care about anything else than the child. There is nothing like that when it comes to the way people look at fatherhood.

A mother caring for her child is average. A father caring is wonderful.

This all has to do with the patriarchal society that we live in. It's all one part of the big puzzle, and that is the reason why change would benefit women.

But change would also be good for men. Not only because of the fact that an equal society is a better society for all parties, but also because men are actually losing out.

It amazes me that men can't see that. That they do not understand that by not fully taking part, they are missing out on something so wonderful that it can't be described with words.