A report

Well, the turning of the baby yesterday did not succeed. And it was one of the worst experiences in my life.

The drug I was given made me feel like my heart was a fast beating drum placed in my head and my throat. I probably panicked, and hyper ventilated, because I couldn't feel my arms and my whole body cramped up.

I was shivering and my legs were moving and kicking constantly. And I was sweating.

All this from the drug and from the inconvenience when they tried to turn the baby. And from the pain. It hurt a bit, and then a lot in certain areas.

Two different doctors was struggling with the task, but Noam refused to turn around. Finally they gave up.

I wanted them to continue. "Go on!", I said. "As long as Noam is fine and not hurting, it doesn't matter if I'm hurting. It's ok, you can continue."

The doctors looked at me and said: "The problem is that we can't ask Noam if she's hurting, as we are sure you understand."

I felt a bit stupid.

The doctors also explained that the procedure is not supposed to hurt a lot, and that they feared that they would harm the placenta, that the placenta would be placed in the areas where I felt pain.

Then they told me that they recommend a cesarian as that is statistically safer for the baby, especially for first time mothers.

I'm glad that they gave me a recommendation. It made the choice easy.

So Noam will be arriving next week, or Monday the week after, by a planned cesarian.

I'm a bit disappointed of course. Was really looking forward to the process of giving birth. And surgery does scare me a bit.

But, I'm sure Noam has very good reason for not turning. And life never happens the way you plan it. So I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is case and I'm looking forward to meeting my daughter.

It's so soon now. Just about a week. Can't believe that I'm becoming a mother.