I read on a friends blog, something she had written about her colleagues knowing her better than her old friends.
It made me think: Who actually does know you, for real?
Your parents? They might know most about your history, what you were like as a kid, and they love you unconditionally. But do they really know you? I'm pretty sure that my parents don't have a clue about what I believe in and what my views on life are. So how well do they really know me then?
Your old friends? In my case at least, I must say, it's pretty much the same as above. The only difference is, I guess, the part about unconditional love.
Your new friends? At least them you made as a grown up, very much from the stand point where you are today. And they might know most about what your political views are, what your favorite subjects are, and what you enjoy. But do they really now the whole of you, as there is probably a lot you've chosen to leave out?
Your partner? I guess that's as close as it gets (at least for me). But we all know that we never tell anyone everything. And we also know that love is blind, and because of love your partner probably ignores and unconsciously chooses to be blind to certain things about you.
If you have a sibling he/she might end up in the same category as the partner, above. At least my sister does.
But I'm still pretty sure no one totally knows you. When it comes to myself only one-two-three-four people are close to knowing me, in the way I define "really knowing".
So the following question then is: Does it really matter or not? Is it good that no one has the full story? Or does it make us more lonely, inside, than we have to be? What do you think?
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7 comments:
This post made me sad. Probably because even with the closest person in the world, we still feel kind of alone. My wife knows me the best of anyone, but she would be the first to tell you that I still have my own little world that no one get to enter.
I'm glad you've got a good partner who knows you. As for that other loneliness, that's what sad songs are for.
Tom, sorry, did not mean to make you sad :) I think you are correct though, that "even with the closest person, we still feel kind of alone" sometimes. I find it both sad and fascinating. Us human beings are interesting creatures. Now I'm going to listen to some sad songs :)
"Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"
Who said that?! Can't find it... but anyway...
So who are you?
The person you are when you are completely alone is that the same person you are when you are with your partner or your sister?
Who would you be without friends and family?
Would you be the same person?
Do you change your "ways" when you hang out with different people?
I have seen many different sides of you and all of them with different people. And all these sides create the kaleidoscopic picture I have of who you are.
Many things about you and me and everyone we know are two faced. Depending on whose face we are looking into.
Little drops: You are one of the "one-two-three-four people" that I believe do know me very well.
Maybe that's an answer to the question "Who really knows you?". The person who have many of the pieces in the kaleidoscop.
But the question remains, is it a good thing or a bad thing that no one totally knows us? I'm reading your comment as it's being a good thing. Am I right?
Klart man aldrig kan känna någon fullt ut och det är inte det minsta konstigt, man kan ju inte ens känna sig själv helt och hållet. Men det räcker gott att ha en syster som kan känna en så pass väl att hon skrattar åt en då man är oresonligt irriterad på sina vänner då de inte svarar i telefonen. Eller då en Kim genom att bara få en blick av mig vet att jag menar att tjejen snett bakom mig till höger har de fulaste skorna jag någonsin skådat. Eller kanske (fast vad vet jag om det) ha en karl som vet precis när en kram kan komma väl till pass. Det räcker nog alldeles gott. Tänk vad trist om någon skulle känna till alla dina hemligheter, vad skulle då finnas kvar att utforska? Tänk så trist man skulle få ihop... Att diskutera, filosofera eller drömma ihop skulle vara fullständigt menlöst. Tänk vad fint att ha ett helt liv på sig att lära känna de man håller av. Men man får skynda sig... ingen finns för alltid.
Yes I think it is good that one can never know another person completely, in other words I agree with Malin.
How dull wouldn't life be if one did: no misunderstandings to unravel, no surprises nor any wonderful heated discussions with friends and loved ones.
They say that a very wise man (Socrates) once said the only way to fully comprehend another person is to "Know thyself" and since it is impossible to fully understand oneself it will therefore also be impossible to understand other humans completely too.
I know for one that I do not understand myself at all times.
This is especially noticable when one starts digging into stuff that is buried beneath layers and layers of years and which still somehow manages to make me behave in a certain way.
From every bad experience i have and especially those where I have done wrong I have been given another little peice of the puzzle that my personality consists of.
It is so cool! It is like a mystery that I can explore for life!
I do agree with both of you (Malin & Little drops). Still leaves a few questions in my head :) We'll discuss it further next time we meet :)
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